As a ministers daughter, i sometimes feel like i have been brought up with a unhelpful idea of boundaries. Don’t get me wrong, It is such a joy and privilege to grow up with parents who love and serve Jesus. But, is what ministers model to their kids having a negative impact? Obviously boundaries can be modelled on many different levels but i’m taking about boundaries within families
Both my parents are extroverts- Mum more then Dad. Both are passionate about seeing people come to know and love Jesus, both deeply care for our family but both are unbelievably busy. On top of this 2 of the 3 kids in our family are introverted.
The problem: How do you juggle the huge pressure of ministry while maintaing a stable family life? – What does a stable family life even look like in ministry?!?
Where to draw the line:
As I was thinking about this, it dawned on me that instead of asking ‘Is anyone going out tonight?’ I now ask ‘Who is going out tonight?’. I now expect that someone will be out- whether it’s a meeting, coffee or Bible Study, i’ve developed an expectation of busyness. And as I look back, I see this now becoming part of my life. My parents modelled servant hearted ministry but I saw it as mealy busyness. Because of this, I had arranged my life to be jam packed full of activities that ultimately don’t matter. Being an introvert means that if i’m extremely busy I will burn out quickly. I must learn to monitor this for the sake of the gospel- however this is not an excuse not to serve!
Parents– model servant hearted ministry to your children. Show them that you are serving for the sake of the gospel and not to ‘just be busy’. However model to them established boundaries.
Introverts– ‘I’m introverted’ isn’t an excuse not to serve. Organise time out if you need it, set up boundaries so you can continue to serve.
Extroverts: Be mindful introverts need some time out. This doesn’t mean they don’t want to serve- they jut need a break! You can be really busy and cope but introverts can’t! Encourage them to set up boundaries.
And let us keep serving together as we see the day of Jesus return drawing near!